What my grandmother said about Facebook...

Sometimes I think how profoundly the world has changed. Then I consider about how superficial some of the change is. I think of how foriegn a computer would seem to my my grandmother. I mean she never even mastered a touch-tone phone, she was a rotary girl. She thought phone numbers began with names.. "Bayside 9", or "Halesite 7".

The core principles remain of people remain the same though. For generations it has been said "If you sleep with dogs you wake with fleas". My grandmothers insight into Facebook circa 1970 was "tell me who your friends are, and I will tell you who you are." You can put a Hollister shirt on it, a Razor Phone to it's ear, and an IPOD Nano in it's pocket but this statemet is no less true today.

If you want to know who your kids are and what their "self image" is, and what they aspire to then you should check out their MySpace and Facebook. From there follow the trails to their friends MySpace pages. This is what your son or daughter has thoughtfully authored to tell their peers who they are. It is not an accident, or gossip. This is the costume d'jour they have chosen.

I just read an article about Universities and Colleges using these social networking tools to screen admissions applications. Of course they do! I think this is awesome. I have long been frustrated with the insinceriety that goes into the college admissions process. It is like a reward for the kid who pays a tutor to raise his SAT scores, joins civic organizations for the juice it buys, and takes softball electives to boost a GPA. I am pleased to hear that someone at the better schools is giving some thought into who gets to sit in that seat at orientation. It really is a treasure that we make sure goes to the right people. I have been at the mailbox when the rejection letters roll in, and the acceptance letters. This is high stakes stuff for a 17 year old.

I found my 20's as a time to seek out some integrity. I had identities with my macho military guy friends, my thoughtful Quaker friends, my business friends, my in-laws and myself. These identities were mutually exclusive in many cases. I walked around with different personalities for different people. I promise there is no peace in that. Willingness to sacrafice polularity for integrity was a bridge I had to cross. There is a real peace in having your outside match your inside.

Now I encourage kids to think about who they really are. Are you the ambitious kid of your college application, or are you the kid with the beer bong down your throat on MySpace who lists 4:20 as his favorite hobby. As romantic as it is to think you are both.... you are probably neither. My advice to you is... pick a horse and ride it. If you start living like the person you aspire to be... you will find yourself moving closer and closer to being that person. Now go clean up your Facebook page.