Over-rated....... Independence

As a father, I am stunned at how little joy I get from the independence of my older children.

I have been the kind of person that counts down to all of the milestones in life. I got a job at 10, drove at 12, joined the military on my 17th birthday, was married a year after I got out etc.

From the time my kids were born I would say stupid things like "By the time I am 45 Tom, Dave and Sabrina will all be out on their own. That makes as much sense as counting the days till summer vacation is over, or the hours until 9AM on a Monday morning. The more sensible approach is to be in the moment and fully enjoy where you are. Here I was with 10 year old kids wishing for 20 year old kids.

While we make our lives plans; God chuckles.

Now I have had 34 years in the work force and in fact my oldest kids have moved right past me in their lives. I now have much less to look forward to. I will be happy when..... Now has senior citizen discount eligibility attached to it.

I am light hearted in this complaint. In honesty my life has been fuller than almost anyone I know. Having 5 kids is a blessing that is hard to overlook. I am however very honest in my advice not to wish it all away. The sound of a crying baby really is a blessing. The chance to take care of a sick kid, or sit through another Christmas Concert for Elementary Schoolers is a gift. There are a finite number of little league games, concerts, dances, plays, and chicken tender value meals.

I check Sabrina's Blog every day and over a month passes without mention of what is going on. You know kids here can say, it's boring there is nothing to tell about. On the contrary Sabrina is in Ecuador and experiencing a life I have never known. I know that she too is caught up in it all, but I do miss her and I miss being a part of her life. I don't know who her best friend it. I don't know what she had for dinner. I don't know which teacher is giving her fits. As a matter of fact I don't know the names of a single friend or a single teacher. How could I keep a blog, and ignore this?

I know that we raise our kids to be independent. Independence in the goal. It is evidence of our success. On the other hand it feels like a really big loss. I am happy for my kids. I just thought that it might feel better when it happens.

Shuffle Board anyone?